In my mind, I’ve been writing this post for over a year, but
now that I have sat down to write, it seems like an impossible task. It’s hard
to be able to put in words “Nate’s Adoption Story” because it has been an
almost 2 year adventure filled with lots of ups and downs. To make the
challenge harder, is the fact that some people know a lot about our journey to make him officially ours while
others didn’t even know we had another son. So please bear with me, as I try to
describe his story. (Some parts I have shortened, but we would love to share more,
so just ask.
In October 2011, Chris and I decided to embark on the
journey of becoming foster parents with the ultimate goal of adoption. I have
always felt God’s calling to adopt a child and Chris felt like fostering to
adopt is what God had in his plan for our family. After becoming certified
through the Bair Foundation, a Christian foster care agency, we received a call
in March of 2012 asking if we would foster a little boy who was about to be
released from a 3 month stay in the NICU. We were told he was a premature baby
and had been born addicted to PCP and had a multitude of health issues. We were
told by Bair that they needed us simply to keep him until they could find a
medically trained foster family. After
agreeing to it, we were given the opportunity to visit and were immediately
thrust into the medical world of feeding tubes and apnea monitors. We’ve been
asked WHY more times then I even want to count, and there are plenty of reasons
on Why we agreed to even take him in the
first place, and the simple reason for us is we felt God calling us to give this little boy a chance. It was
heartbreaking to me as a mom of a then 10 month old to think of this sweet boy
who laid alone in the NICU and had no one fighting for him. Hence why he has
become known as “our little fighter” because honestly according to science, he
should not have survived the 2 mile ambulance ride at birth. (I forgot to
mention you may need tissues for this story, I know as I sit here writing it,
the tears are coming down my face).
The next few months were filled with doctors’ appointments,
therapy, and Chris and I truly learning about the court system and the Children’s
Youth and Family Services department. During this time, we were truly thrust
into an unknown world of heart conditions, genetic abnormalities, and
developmental delays. It was in July 2012, I came to the realization that I was
no longer just an advocate and caregiver for Nate, but I was now fighting for
what was right for my child. Although I fell in love with him from the moment I
first held him, it was not until July that I realized I was going to do everything
in my power to make him officially my son. At this time, Chris and I had
already been to two court appearances where his biological parents were still
fighting to get him back.
Fast forward to December which included over 50 days in the
hospital for surgeries and numerous episodes of aspirated pneumonia, we
celebrated Nate’s first birthday and “First REAL Christmas”. December was quite
a busy month of celebrations and we ended the year in Florida for two weeks. My
parents and I took the boys to Ft Myers and we had a nice time relaxing, of
course we had no idea what would happen when we came home from vacation.
In January we took him to the emergency room where he spent
a few days being treated for another episode of pneumonia. A few nights after
he was discharged, Chris and I noticed something wasn’t quite right with Nate
and we ended up calling 911. (Most people are surprised to find out that this
was the first time in over 10 months, since we had Nate that we called an ambulance
and didn’t drive him to the hospital ourselves. It was a good choice that we
called paramedics, because by the time they arrived Nate was bluish grey and
not responding even on very increased oxygen.
We spent the next three months in the hospital where Chris
and I dealt with a parent’s worst night mare. (I won’t go into all the details
about what happened because we could fill a novel with what happened during
that time, so I will give a VERY abridged version). Basically Nathan got
infection after infection and was intubated that entire time except for
approxmently 24 hours. The biggest thing we found out was that his lungs were actually
not as healthy as everyone had always thought and that he needed the support of
mechanical ventilation to survive. For those of you who are new to the story I
will tell you that there was a time in February that Chris and I had to begin
to think about funeral arrangements. As hard as it is for me to think about,
the really cool part is that once again Nathan is living proof that God is in
charge and not doctors. We were incredibly blessed to have an ICU staff that
did not give up on him even when we had lost hope. This situation also taught
me what an incredible husband I have who never lost faith in God. Once we were
able to get him “stable” we had the responsibility of making one of the hardest
decisions I have ever made. After talking to the medical staff, we were told a tracheotomy
was our last resort. (Rember at this point, although we had medical rights, we
had no other rights as a parent, because the biological parents were still his
parents, basically it was an incredibly sucky situation)
In April 2013, Allegheny County courts terminated parental
rights and Nathan was now a ward of the state and was free to be adopted. Of course
nothing is that easy, because his biological dad decided to appeal to the
Pennsylvania Superior Court. We were
literally in limbo because although he had appealed he was not allowed
visitation and was allowed ZERO info about Nate, basically it was a waiting
game.
During the month of April, Nathan was finally discharged to
come home with us, but due to his new medical needs, Chris and I decided to
move our family in with my parents for the extra help. It has been amazing to
see Nathan thrive over the past few months, he is now even crawling!!! We have
an amazing group of therapist and nurses who work and challenge him every day.
Looking back I am certain this story would have had a different ending had he
not undergone the trach surgery.
In September we took the boys to Disney World and to say we
had an incredible time, would be an understatement. It was amazing to see how
much fun the boys had, I think the tea cups were both’s favorite ride. We are
already planning on when we go back because everyone was so great with Nate
there.
On October 8, we received the awaited news that the superior
court upheld the decision and that we could finally adopt Nate as long as bio
dad didn’t try to take it to Supreme Court. (Luckily for us all he would have
had to pay for his own attorney which wasn’t goanna happen since he has no jobJ) On November 9, it was
determined that we would be able to finally adopt our son on National Adoption
Day on November 23, 2013.
It has been an incredible journey and there has been
numerous times that I doubted God that it was really his plan for us to be Nathan’s parents but we are so
beyond thrilled and so excited to finally introduce the world to our son
Nathaniel!!!!
I cannot end this story without saying thank you to our incredible
family, friends, and medical staff who have supported us these past two years.
We could not have made it to this day without your love and support. I’m not
even going to try to name names, but I hope that you each know what a special
part of my heart that you have and that I know Nathan would not have made it
without his guardian angels.
