The past couple of weeks have made me really think about
friendship and what’s important when forming friendships. Don’t get me wrong I
have some awesome friends in my life and I can’t imagine life without them, but
I also have formed an incredible bond with a group of ladies that I’ve actually
never met in person. These are moms of other special needs kiddos, the majority
I’ve meet through a Facebook CHARGE support group. From an outsider, I can
imagine your thinking really lady your telling me these ”virtual Facebook
friends” really mean that much to you and my answer is yes. I understand your
doubt because if I wasn’t writing this I probably would be saying the same
thing, but the truth is I don’t want to think how my life would be without them
in it. I have really formed a special bond with some of these ladies throughout
the past year because they understand firsthand the daily struggles of raising
a medically needy child. They understand my excitement when I say Nate brought
a toy to his mouth and put it to his lips. Its also a since of relief that Im
not the only one feeling guilty that I didn’t get to take Brody to a playdate because
Nate had an appointment one day or the struggle to be a good wife when you haven’t
stayed in the same bed as your husband for weeks because your trading off on
hospital duty. I wouldn’t change my life for a moment but I truly thank God every
day for the relationships I have formed.
So the question is what made me bring this up, Heaven
recently gained an angel, Connor was a little CHARGER whose mom and I formed a
friendship since both boys came home trached and vented the same week. I don’t think
his mom will ever know how much support she has given me and really how much
she became my “go-to person” for trach advice because we were both experiencing
it for the first time. Connor’s passing away was much harder on me than I would
have ever imagined, I truly felt as though I was losing a relative. I know Im
not the only one who felt that way either, it was amazing to see how the CHARGE
community came together and rallied behind this family during their loss.
Connors mom compared her CHARGE family to the mafia! Its true we get mad at
each others nurses , doctors , and even families when someone harms one of us!
Because I was not with Nate when he spent three months in
the NICU, I never was able to meet other moms going through similar situations
with their kids. I hear about the bonds made between NICU moms and I feel sad
that I wasn’t able to form relations but incredibly blessed that I have been
able to meet moms that not only can support me but I can also support them.
Hopefully we will be able to attend the CHARGE conference in 2015 and I can
stop being a Facebook creeper and finally meet these women in person. The most
ironic part of the situation is even Chris and my mom are at the point that
they are starting to be able to figure out whose kids is who and who is in the hospital
because I will bring up milestones kids are facing etc.
I recently starting talking to another mom ( a friend of a real friend) and we were
discussing this very fact, that there is just an amazing bond formed between
special needs moms, and that she agreed that sometimes she feels closer to them
then her “real friends” . I think its because the fact when talking to them I don’t
have to filter my emotions or explain medical terminology because they get it.
The moral of this story is I truly value all of my friends
whether real or virtual and I can’t imagine how I would’ve made it through the
past year without them
